December 28th, 2016

kept tears

R.I. P. Carrie Fisher

The last few days have been pretty rough after watching both George Michaels and Carrie Fisher pass on. Carrie's death hit me hard. I'm pretty damn sad about it even though I expected it. Some of my friends are in hiding from social media because of the sadness and I can't blame them. Others are mourning hard. Others still are basically castigating us for being upset. Yes, celebrities die all the time. They died in 2015. They'll die in 2017. We don't really need the reminder. Some of us need to mourn and not be shamed for it.

Also I think it's not just the celebrities we're mourning but that lost part of our life, our past. I am now at the age where the celebrities I grew up on are getting old and passing on, taking that part of my childhood with them. When I was seeing patients about 90 percent were geriatrics and they all said the same thing; one of the hardest parts of aging was watching the icons of your childhood pass away. It slams home that you are getting older, that you have more days behind than you have before you.

So much of my childhood got whittled away this year, George and Carrie, Florence Henderson, Prince, David Bowie and so many more. But Carrie really hurts. She’s part of the reason I’m a writer now. Star Wars blew me away. She taught me women could be in charge and be smart and independent and kick ass. I started writing fan fic. Yes it was very Mary Sue. I wanted to be Luke’s sister, Han’s girlfriend and Leia’s best friend. What do you want? I was 10 and I needed to see that princesses didn’t always have to wait around helplessly and Carrie Fisher really embodied Princess Leia’s toughness.

So I will miss her. I will mourn her loss. And I will cry for even more of my childhood’s fractured memories.
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Author Plan for 2017

As I write this it's hard to be entirely positive what with All Romance shutting down with very short notice and some jackass stealing stories and publishing them under other known authors' names on Amazon to ride their reputations to sales. (There are days I miss the old days of publishing but granted back then most of what I write wouldn't have seen the light of day).

So that's the negative part so let me move on and see what my plans can possibly be in the LGBT publishing realm.

1. Be much more rigid on time management. That is still a bit on the negative but it needs to be said. I need to get it in my head. I've been horrible about it. I spend too much time pissing about on line, especially social media and I need to knock that crap off.

2. First and foremost, I need to FINALLY fix Blood Red Roulette. I have been working on it but I MUST get it done. It'll be almost a year between getting it rejected with suggestions for resubmission and sending it back out. It was a big hit to the ego, especially seeing other stories with almost identical things I was knocked for getting put out by the same publisher. I keep making more of a mess of it. I'm going to need a set of eyes to do a complete read-through once I'm done

3. Play about with the Deadwood shifter story. A little tweaking at it will be a novella and then I'll send it out.

4. I need to find out what's going on with Wayward Ink to see if I need to be thinking about that SF story I have there for an anthology.

5. Work on Behind Blue Eyes. I would love to finish it.

6. Work on the two contemporary novels even though they are a brutal struggle for me.

7. Work on the steampunk Christmas story.

8. Keep an eye on the open calls of course.

9. Clean up my website because it's an embarrassment.

10. Continue to support my fellow authors.

It's not much of a plan. I'm willing to admit to that but I have to balance it with the non-romance/LGBT writing (which definitely needs a lot of work right now too). Here's hoping 2017 has some good opportunities, some good writing and it will look better than 2016 which was a very bad year for me writing-wise.
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